Thursday, December 10, 2009

Verdict on Radiesse: Uhhhhhh . . . .

OK, so at some point I'm going to rot away like an old pumpkin, facial fillers or no. But before then, how far am I willing to go?

My experience so far with Radiesse is neither glowing nor disastrous. A good deal of what I thought were awesome results from the filler turned out to be swelling from the procedure. Now, if I could just figure out a way to have a permanently swollen face, I'd be forever young! Truth be told, the lines are back. Not like they were; there is more fullness around my mouth, but you have to be me in order to notice it.

That kind of bummed me out, to be honest. I didn't want everyone to know I had something "done," but I also wanted someone to say, "My, you look so refreshed! Did you take a vacation or change your hair?" Well, not a single, solitary soul has noticed anything whatsoever. My family and even my husband see no sign that anything changed on my face. They haven't skipped around proclaiming how young and dewy I look; far from it. As my holiday depression rages on, I suppose I look either the same or older, due to my Grinch-y misery when the sun don't shine.

Also on the down side was the fact that the needles hit some facial nerves, and I freaked out over the patchy numbness that affected parts of my face, especially the tip of my nose, my upper gum and my cheekbones. After much anxious Internet searching, I figured out that the injections triggered the "trigeminal" facial nerve(s), and that it's a "rare" side effect of facial filler injections, but it does happen . . . to a very lucky few. The numbness is pretty much gone now, but again, I don't have spectacular results to show for it.

The other down side is that there is just enough of a difference to make me tempted to continue the process. I know, I'm an idiot. But hear me out. Those lines were more like folds, and I think that I don't see spectacular results because there was a significant amount of correction that needed to be done, more than I anticipated--and I very quickly became accustomed to the new look, however subtle, and so now the rest of my face needs some balance. It's the Stendahl syndrome all over again; the story goes that someone gave the notoriously Spartan Stendahl a rich, elegant red robe for Christmas, and all it did was point out to him how dismal the rest of his possessions were. This created a rabid desire to upgrade his room and his stuff, so he did what he had to do to keep the peace with himself: throw out the luxurious red robe.

If you asked, I would tell you immediately what else I want to do: Coolaser for face and neck, a tad more filler in my cheeks, and maybe just a smidge more around my mouth. That's it, I swear. The lovely Dr. Ourian would agree that my desires are easily realized and very reasonable. But I know that this is the edge of a cliff. First of all, there is no money for such "facial maintenance" and second of all, the worst thing that could happen to me would be unlimited funds for such "touch-ups". I think that I will probably give in at some point in the next couple of years and finish the job that I started. Lord, my face is a job. Well, I guess it is. It's the job of giving oneself the gift of NOT BEING FRICKIN' annoyed every single time I look in the mirror.

I give my Radiesse injections a C+. Not great, could be better, but a solid effort, as teachers like to say when a student has not excelled in any way whatsoever. What's next? Nothing in the short run. Just me and the slightly dingy pink robe. If I could just get the right slippers . . .


Frosty said...

You're such a beautiful woman. I wish you wouldn't do anything else to your face. I know that you probably think I couldn't possibly understand because I'm not the same age as you, or I didn't know you when you were twenty so I can't possibly understand how you've changed, or whatever. But I think you are beautiful, my brother thinks you are beautiful, and whatever happened to telling society's unrealistic demands of how women should look to FUCK OFF?

You are smart. You are kind. You are sexy. You are married to a man who adores you as if you were his first grade-school crush. You are funny and interesting and wonderful. You deserve to love your face exactly as it is now, exactly as it will be twenty years from now. You are so lovely just the way you are. Why don't you give yourself a trip to Spain instead of another Radiesse treatment? Wouldn't that be so much more fun? Or, I KNOW! COME VISIT ME IN NEW YORK!

I miss you. I wish I was home. I'd throw my body in front of your car the next time you tried to visit a plastic surgeon or anyone willing to wave any kind of needle in your direction.

Kitty said...

Oh, what an amazing response! I have no words!!! Well, the thing is, it's complicated . . . thank you, I am very pleased that people think I'm attractive. It's true, I should find much better uses for my money . . . and I and everyone MISSES YOU LIKE CRAZY. Not kidding. I have so much to say, but Imanya just showed up and I want to spend some time with her before she disappears into her room. So more soon. Thank you again, you are the sweetest!

CMC said...

Hey it's your sister here, Frosty is completely right! I couldn't have said it better myself. Please don't listen to what a plastic surgeon says about your looks. They make money by making women feel insecure. Listen to what your friends and family are telling you. We don't love you any more or any less for having laugh lines. We love you because of your soul. Besides, worrying about your looks causes wrinkles. :)

That said, get away from LA/Hollywood! I think that it's messing with that very brilliant brain of yours. If it can make a beautiful woman like Nicole Kidman freeze her face with Botox, imagine what it does to us mere mortals. Come live in NorCal, it's slightly easier to age here. (Okay, there may be a hidden agenda in that statement since I miss you so much, but I also think it's true.)

Kitty said...

CMC, where did you get that acronym? OK, so I give up. You guys have convinced me. Thank you for your kind words and the fact that you even bother to read my stuff. I appreciate it. There are plenty of LA/Hollyweed people who don't do the facial rejuvenation thing, but the real issue is that I just have to accept getting older even if I don't feel that I'm ready. I just have to realize that there is NOTHING I can do about it, and I might as well stop thinking about it. I mean, it's inevitable, and I guess I just need to spend more time with friends and family like you guys, so I wouldn't have so much time for morbid self reflection. CMC, I know when I get to see you, but when do I get to see you, Frosty? You haven't even met my amazing nephew! You would just die over him!!

ty said...

I think you're beautiful!